Braces-wearing-adult.

I always knew vanity would lead me to pain and bankruptcy. Enter : Adult braces.
Yes, I'm now an adult who wears braces. I have joined the Narcissistic hoards of One-Direction-Members, Tom Cruise, and Cheryl Cole by sacrificing myself to cosmetic dentistry when I'm old-enough-to-know-better.

Next stop... Inebriation! The Wine Tram.

We need to talk about this tram: The Franschhoek Wine Tram. You get on the tram, it takes you to wine. You get back on the tram, it takes you to more wine. Forever.

Four hours we spent jumping on-and-off this beautiful adventure to alcoholism. And we could have spent four more hours... If we hadn't been falling asleep in our Chenin Blancs and dribbling-out our Sémillons.

Carnivore dreams: MORE brunch.

Bubbalicious brunch at The Westin Hotel puts Gatsby's parties to shame. Lobster - want 5? Why not! Steaks? Have 10, go on!  Champagne: Mix it with shots of vodka, and some lethal chaos of cocktail that's been dumped in a watermelon... Go wild, it's Friday!

Brunch: So far.

Brunch couldn't work in the UK: People would be dead.

And yet, it's the livelihood of expats in the UAE. Basically - you pay an upfront sum (anywhere between 150 and 2,000 dhs - around 30 to 400 pounds) then eat as much food and drink as much alcohol as you can physically consume in 3 hours. It's a decadent race; he who reaches obesity first? Wins! Wales' life expectancy would HALF if brunch was a thing there...